Mr Smith's Trip to Various Sporting Outlets

One day, whilst searching for some suitable footballing footwear, I chanced upon a sports outlet known as 'Sportsworld'. Upon entering this monument to vitality and good health I found myself flanked by two rather skinny young men positioned - I presumed - as some kind of deterrent to the would be thief. They offered no greeting but I still loudly wished them "Good day!" as I strolled by.

The store itself was a mess that I had not experienced since 'Nam. It was the Debenhams winter sale of 1986 and the chaos caused by a few hundred housewives out for a bargain was harrowing. Still, not to worry. The store index informed me that I would have to undertake a journey to the first floor in order to quench my footballing thirst. Being a keen fan of the beautiful game as I am, it was a journey I was all too happy to make.

Having reached my destination, my magpie-like skill for picking out high quality, not to mention high class, footballing equipment once again revealed itself. The adidas Copa Mundial was perched high upon the shelf. It is a boot for the thinking footballer, not for the slack jawed convicts of this world (Joesph Barton).

I turned around, looking for some kind of assistant who could aid me in my quest for these boots. I spied a tracksuited man and beckoned him over with a clear, high volume call of "Hello! Could you aid me, good sir?". In order to convince him to help me own these boots, I realised that first I would have to build a bond so strong that he would do anything he possibly could, even give up his life, in the name of getting the precious Copa Mundials. "My good man", I said, "You look like a fellow who is comfortably in the loop. I need you to do me a favour and if you can perform this task then it is one that you may call in whenever you like. I require the adidas Copa Mundial boot, size eleven. Is it possible that you can find it?" In return, he shuffled his feet, looked down and mumbled something about "going round the back". Despite the fact that nobody had said that to me since my days in the Navy, I felt sure a strong bond had been secured between myself and the anonymous assistant.

The two minutes for which he was gone were two of the longest of my life. I watched my fellow customers trying on all manner of shiny plastic boots, some with fins and go-faster stripes which, frankly, I doubted increased the velocity of the wearer. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my new found ally approaching me, empty handed. "Sorry, we don't have any" he muttered at a volume scarcely audible to a bat, let alone a man of my age. I queried whether he had done everything within his power to locate our quarry, to which he replied that he had and a delivery was being made on Friday that may contain the Mundials. I asked him to monitor the situation, certain that a bond had been built to the extent that he would be calling every supplier he could to secure my prize.

Friday came, and my anonymous ally had failed me. He was not even at the store when I arrived and I feared that he may have been compromised. I ditched him and soon came to pass the sports outlet JJB Sports. Having the detailed knowledge of British retail and football that I have earned by reading the Financial Times and FourFourTwo, often at the same time, I knew that the owner of JJB Sports was Dave Whelan, who also had a football stadium named after him. Having lived my life by the maxim that anyone named Dave was worthy of my trust, allied to his being a football stadium, I felt certain a man of Whelan's razor sharp intelligence and football understanding would ensure his stores were fully stocked with Copa Mundials at all times. I entered the shop.

Again, I greeted the shop workers heartily and soon summoned over an aid after finding the Mundial glistening on the shelf. I impressed upon her just how important it was that I find these boots and hoped she would join me in my quest. "I'll just go and check", she replied, which was not the boots-or-death response I had been hoping for. However, my optimism in Dave Whelan, that icon of football, left me certain that I would have the boots in my possession within the next ten minutes. Alas, I was again left disappointed. Again, there were no size elevens and again there was a delivery on Friday. She advised me to buy them from the JJB website but after receiving a Malaysian bride from a website after I specifically requested Thai only I can never trust www. again. That sort of thing just isn't right.

I passed on my details to the assistant, asking her to survey the every movement of the Copa Mundial stock and to keep a record, updating me every four hours. I received a strange look and she said something unintelligible. I presumed she was talking in code so I left encouraged.

Weeks passed with no reports. I received no response when I phoned the store so I presumed she had also been compromised. I found a small sports shop in Sutton and phoned them up. "Hello there sir. I have been on quite a journey and hope you can sort me out. I wish to purchase the adidas Copa Mundial in a size eleven and am willing to pay any price. Let's do a deal". I was swiftly informed that they didn't sell the Mundial and did not appreciate my response that I would visit their store and "sort them all out". I was left broken. I had lost two newfound allies and even the small, local sports store had abandoned me.

Having lost all hope and all friends, I gave in. The Holy Grail of the adidas Copa Mundial was not to be mine, not for now at least. I purchased a pair of plastic Nike boots, deciding to bide my time and watch from afar. This was not to be the last of this particular quest.

Espana, Winners of 2010 - Already

The Spanish have had a 2010 to forget. What with Rafael Nadal retiring from the Australian Open and neither Real Madrid or Barcelona managing to get to a European Cup Final held at the Bernabeu, only the consolations of the successes of Nadal at the French Open and Wimbledon and the victory of the Spanish national team at the football World Cup remain.

Both Nadal and the Spanish football team dominate their respective arenas. Nadal is a physical phenom who also has mental strength that is almost beyond belief, allied to an excellent serve and backhand not to mention a forehand that must be seen to be believed. The Spanish NT have a style that is adored by the purists and singular players that are considered the best in their respective positions - Xavi, Iniesta, Villa, Puyol and even their captain, Casillas.

Nadal scored the first major successes for Spain in 2010, reclaiming his French Open crown with a dominance that made it seem as if he had mistakenly been entered into the boy's French Open. The spin and bounce that his high forehand produces pushes everyone far behind the baseline, forcing them into defence and allowing him to win easy points. His Wimbledon title, which in his mind he was defending after being forced to miss the 2009 championships with injury, was more difficult. He was taken to five sets twice and had to produce his absolute best tennis to beat Andy Murray in the semi-final. His demolition of Tomas Berdych in the final was not perhaps the greatest exhibition of tennis but it was a masterclass in mental strength and control. After the first six games would go to serve with little drama bar the odd break point, Nadal would raise his game to a level that Berdych could not sustain. The final was won in three sets, Nadal confirming his status as the number one tennis player in the world and possibly one of the greatest ever. Pundits predicted that he would go on to dominate in a similar vein to Federer, even while Federer still remains on a tennis court.

The Spanish NT play with a style that they call 'tiki-taki', which basically means that they keep the ball with quick, short passes, probing and waiting for the right moment to strike, although they are not averse to a counter attack should the opportune moment present itself. This style has been praised by many, especially English journalists who are used to seeing their players aimlessly smash the ball forward as well as playing 'Hollywood' balls from one side of the pitch to the other. As one journalist whose name I do not actually know said, possibly, when asked why the English players failed when they did so well for their clubs "At their clubs they have Fernando Torres and Didier Drogba to pass to". Quite.

Despite losing their first game to Switzerland where Spain were as poor as I have seen them in quite some time, Spain went on to claim the World Cup, conceding just two goals in the process. Despite Fernando Torres being generally awful, from missing open goals to getting injured in the final minute of the World Cup, Spain managed to win the Cup without being at their best. After switching to a 4-3-3 that better fitted the sensibilities of the players, a Spanish victory looked ominous. They might not have been beating teams like Argentina 4-0 but there was a something inevitable in how they were able to control games and always looked more likely to score. Like Nadal, they had the ability to wow the crowd and at many moments they did just that, but when crunch time came they were able to up their game. Their performance raised as their opponent's level did. Although it can be argued that the Netherlands had the better chances in the first ninety minutes of the final, Spain saved those chances, the Dutch did not miss.

In essence, an incredible Spanish sporting summer, crowned by the first ever Spanish World Cup win, can be summed up as follows - sometimes exhilarating, always excellent and never lacking in belief, confidence or motivation. It has been a staggering show of what is required at the top level, doing what nobody else can do some of the time, doing what everyone can do better than them most of the time and believing in your ability to do so all of the time.

enhorabuena, Espana!

It's All Over

The football season is now pretty much at an end. There is, of course, an Under-21 tournament to look forward to, then European qualification, as well as the Copa America and the pre-season tours. In reality it never stops, but when you're earning what top footballers are earning, its a bit much to expect a two month holiday to 'recover'. Unless your name is David Bentley of course, then by all means put your feet up and enjoy the best that British Summer has to offer - Wimbledon, Test Cricket and the odd day of sunshine.

The Premiership

We live in prosperous times. The Premiership is in rude health, we're told. A huge TV rights deal, meaning that the gap between the top 20 and the rest will grow in a vast chasm, has given plenty of ammunition for the 'Premiership is the best league ever' brigade. Despite the fact that four clubs are in with a chance of winning La Liga, even at this advanced stage, with Spain having two representatives in the UEFA Cup Final, although all Spanish clubs had perished by the quarter-final stage of the Champions League. Italian football - yes, that same Italian football that was in crisis - has triumphed, winning the two most prestigious competitions, namely the World Cup and the European Cup. This year may have been a walkover for Inter Milan in Serie A, but with Juventus building and AC Milan, possibly enhanced by such talents as Ronaldinho, Henry and Eto'o if the various reports are to be believed, starting on a level playing field, the next season could be very interesting.

So with this in mind, let us reflect on the season that was. Manchester United were crowned Champions of course, with Chelsea failing to take advantage of the key opportunities a weak United side offered them near the end of the season. But all in all, the season was fairly uninteresting. By November Liverpool and Arsenal had admitted defeat in their title quest, and they turned their focus to the cup competitions. Manchester United and Arsenal played the 'best' football, but United managed to put the ball in the back of the net, something Arsenal seemed scared to do. Liverpool and Chelsea played defensive football, with Chelsea scoring a large amount of goals in the last 15 minutes.

Did anyone care about the race for Europe? With our UEFA Cup representatives failing to go past the quarter-final stage, and matches generally played on a Thursday, with uninterested journalists sent to the furthest outpost of the old USSR, no-one really seemed to take a big interest in it. Spain had three clubs in the UEFA semis, reflecting the strength of their mid-table teams, while only Tottenham made it to the last-16. In the end, Bolton, Tottenham and Everton made it. Reading didn't. That's about as far as the story went.

Man City, Newcastle and Fulham flirted with relegation. All lost their managers. For a 'big club' like Newcastle, they needed a big man, so they brought in 'Big' Sam Allardyce. Fulham brought in Lawrie Sanchez on the back of a few David Healy inspired Northern Ireland wins (admittedly they were against England, Spain, Sweden...). Manchester City brought in Ranieri, then didn't.

At the bottom, there was the distinct sound of whining. Instead of concentrating on surviving relegation, we were treating to Dave Whelan making big comments about Carlos Tevez and his illegal transfer. Tevez just had to compound it all by becoming brilliant and inspiring West Ham to safety.

Team of the Season

You can't trust players to pick a team, as shown by the PFA Team of the Year. Here's the real one.

-------------Cech--
---------
-Neville-Carvalho-Ferdinand-Evra
------------------------------
-Ronaldo-Essien-Scholes-Giggs
-----------------------------
-----Drogba----Berbatov

Thats my opinion, anyway.

Lille - Courageous or Pathetic?

Lille. Up 'n' Coming stars of European football I've been led to believe. A "team with no stars" according to their manager, Claude Puel. Certainly none of them shone particularly brightly last night.

In an uneventful match, played out on a shocking pitch, both sides were closely matched and had periods of dominance over the other, but failed to convert their chances. That is, until the Puel changed formation to 4-4-2. Lille went on the attack and appeared to have scored through Odemwingie with a close range header. However, this was ruled out by the referee for a push that could be regarded as minimal. However, the goal did not stand, and the players moved on.

In the 83rd minute however, Saha earned a free-kick after being pulled back and having his shirt tugged. The Lille defence were still organising their wall when Giggs asked to take the free-kick. The referee walked away and Giggs guided the ball into the far right hand corner as a surprised Sylva attempted to reach the ball.

In the vigorous appeals that followed, Sylva was booked. Lille then proceeded to kick the ball to their coach from the kick-off, and a mass argument ensued. It looked as if Lille might be considering abandoning the tie, but after a couple of minutes they returned to the field. Manchester United returned to dodge missiles from the crowd, stirred up by Giggs' goal. The last ten minutes were played out to a chorus of boos. It was an embarrassing episode for all concerned.

But were Lille right to complain? Had they been 'cheated' out of, if not a win, then a draw? Were they just showing their displeasure with the way the referee had conducted himself throughout the game, which was, in both fans opinions, poor? This is, apparently, the way teams register a complain in France, waiting until the ball goes out of play to dispute a decision, perhaps giving themselves time to calm down and see the offending action again. Was this just Lille showing the referee what they thought, with no plans to walk off at all?

In my humble opinion - no, no, no. I feel that both decisions, technically, were correct by the referee. The push on Vidic was perhaps minimal, although it is hard to maintain balance in the position that he was in, and it certainly helped Odemwinge get to the ball. Considering the view that referee Eric Braamhaar had, it is very understandable decision that he took, and it is one that could go either way. There is nothing in the rulebook to say that the referee must blow the whistle when a free-kick is taken, and you see quick free-kicks and corners taken all the time. Professionals are told to stand in front of the ball to prevent quick free-kicks, so it could be attributed to a mistake by Lille.

What wasn't understandable was their reaction, acting like petulant schoolchildren because the big boys had done something naughty. They endangered the United players as the crowd began to throw missiles at them, and embarrassed French football, European football and World football. It is a sad chapter in Lille's history, and perhaps looking back, they will realise the pathetic actions that they undertook. It was certainly "intimidating the referee", and lets hope that the return leg is far more enjoyable.

The Rise and Rise of Utd

Rewind. Back in August 2006 Manchester United appeared to be fading. There had been only one addition to the squad that had been beaten 3-0 and finished 8 points behind Chelsea. Ronaldo was rumoured to be leaving due to the lack of support from United, and Ruud van Nistelrooy had left the club, a man with an astonishing strike record. Arsenal had kept Captain Fantastic, Thierry Henry and signed Tomas Rosicky, a man who had produced some brilliant performances in the World Cup. Chelsea had signed Shevchenko, Europe's highest goalscorer and Ballack, who had driven Germany to 3rd place at the World Cup. Liverpool had improved their squad with Bellamy, Pennant and Agger, with Kuyt strongly rumoured to be following. Most pundits predicted that Manchester United, the 8 time Premiership champions, would be left behind by the other 3 and be left to fight it out with Tottenham for the final Champions League spot.

So why are United sitting 6 points clear? Is it a failing by the other 3 teams? Have they massively underperformed? No. There is an argument that Chelsea have, but the other two have kept up the same levels of performance throughout the season. Liverpool appeared to have come into their true form at one point, but this was just Liverpool doing what they should - beating Bottom Ten teams well. Arsenal may play beautiful football, but they play it in front of defences, leaving defenders across the land to watch, enjoy and take the ball off them when they've had enough.

The truth is that Fergie won't - can't - accept failure. His team is one that he slowly built over last season, with Vidic and Evra coming in halfway through and Gary Neville becoming Utd's captain after the Keane debacle, as well as Saha coming into his best form as the season ended, this was the perfect chance to make a fresh start, free of the ghosts that Keane and Nistelrooy threatened to leave hanging over the club. The team were focused and dedicated. Rooney and Ronaldo had forgiven each other and there were no egos straining to impose themselves. The dressing room was calm.

The next move was to make the team play good football. With what is essentially a 4-2-4 formation, Fergie has struck a balance within the team, giving Ronaldo and Giggs (or Park these days) the licence to attack, in the safe knowledge that there were two excellent full backs behind them in Gary Neville and Patrice Evra. Both of the full backs have also got forward, increasing the potency of United's wing play. Carrick and Scholes have an excellent partnership, both possessing top class passing ability and attacking ability in Scholes. Carrick's defensive skills ensure that United keep most of the possession, which is useful when you want to win games. The defence is the best in the land. Ferdinand and Vidic, the Silk and the Steel, are yet another of United's great partnerships. They dominate attacks and quickly pass the ball out in order to start a counter attack when needed. Rooney had struggled with form, but is now flying, although it is the other way round for Saha. He has struggled ever since missing that penalty against Celtic, but he will pull through. With Solskjaer adding goals and Larsson arriving to create and add more, United are a potent attacking threat.

United's consistent brilliance, allied with an inconsistent Chelsea and disappointing performances from Arsenal and Liverpool has contributed to their current position. The question remains though - Can they stay there? The trip to Anfield will help us answer that particular question...